I spent the last several days deeply under the weather with a very unpleasant head cold (are any of them pleasant?).
I missed two days of work and really have not been fully functional this weekend though Missus and I did celebrate her birthday on Saturday with dinner at a very nice Japanese restaurant with good friends. A very good time had by all.
I am feeling almost human. Work calls tomorrow and life will pick up speed again….
I needn’t tell you that I didn’t ride at all or walk much or do much of anything since Wednesday and I am feeling like a tree sloth right now, fat and slow.
The weight held steady, actually dropped slightly, so I am ok there. I flexed my eating (yeah, sure, a lack of appetite due to the cold had nothing to do with it) and avoided the bedridden weight gain.
Today it was a cold and dreary and wet day so there was no riding to be done even had there been no head cold to contend with. Somehow the fact that the weather would have kept me from riding in any case made me feel better about not being in any shape to ride…
Strange
By mid-week I suspect I will be in fine shape.
The coming week and weekend
The weather this week will be a challenge. It is expected to be warm but with a possibility of thunderstorms… Then of course there is the holiday weekend.
Travel to and from a big cookout out-of-state will make riding a challenge.
I will find a way….
How much one changes in a year…
310 pounds, Summer 2011. I am not him anymore. I am starting to understand who I am now
At the cookout last year I was in the 235 pound range, 70 or so pounds down from my starting weight and people were STUNNED at my weight loss. I am 30 pounds lighter now and I have maintained the goal weight since last August.
I am simply not who I was a year ago. Not even close to the person I was two years ago.
I get less visits from the Black Dog, less episodes of depression. I am less anxious about my weight and less nervous about allowing the occasional indulgence.
Some things have not changed or have changed only in the depth of my commitment. I am still not eating red meats and I have started to phase out other meats, poultry and fish, as well. My commitment to fitness is deeper now. It was strong a year ago. It is a passion now.
I am always planning my next walk, my next hike, my next ride.
I am as passionate about my health as I was a year ago. I still talk about it incessantly. I am still writing this blog and still thinking out my days as they will relate to food and exercise.
What has changed? I am now much more accustomed to living the way I live now. It is now less forced. I am planning and thinking from habit now not from conscious effort. I run a tab in my head of everything I eat. I know the calories by heart now. I still record them in the LOSEIT.COM app, still record even one jelly bean. No though I do it from habit. It is natural for me to do this. I don’t have to remind myself, force myself, over think it.
A year ago I was constantly reminding myself to records it, plan it, think it, do it.
Now I just do it.
In situations like the upcoming cookout I will remind myself to not snack and nibble and I will remind myself to walk around a great deal to get in the steps. I will probably go up and down the flight and a half of steps on the deck 30 times or more in the course of the day. I will remind myself to make sure that happens.
It is in the day-to-day that I am beginning to grow comfortable, beginning to feel that this lifestyle has become my life. I am learning to be the person I have become. Sounds like the cart in front of the horse but, for me, it works just that way.
I am amused when someone tells me they are “exactly” XXX pounds. “I always weigh exactly XXX pounds, have since High School….”
I know it seems absurd that anyone would say that but I have had several people tell me this with minor variations in wording.
When someone asks my weight I say “between 200 and 205″. It is then that some will say the “exactly” comment.
I don’t weigh the same from one hour to the next.
The last week or so my weight has been swinging like mad. I went from 203 to 208 to 202 in a matter of four days. I am talking 6:30 AM weigh-in after morning rituals. 203-208-202….
Since I started this Journey I have not seen anything even close to this sort of mad swing.
Not worried about it or anything, just amazed really. I don’t feel the swing. My clothes didn’t suddenly get tight. I didn’t suddenly feel sluggish and fat. I just saw it on the scale. I checked on another scale and it was within half a pound. Weird.
I suppose it can be written off to water weight or “stuff” processing through the system (so to speak). Still. In the year plus of this Journey I have not seen this sort of thing over a 4 or 5 day span.
Odd.
FOOD PICTURE:
The warm weather has allowed us to grill!!!
Grilled Tuna, Grilled Mushrooms, Saute’ of kale and collard greens, Grilled onions with sun-dried tomato, rosematta rice and coriander chutney,
Pushing
I have been riding my bike a great deal. Been putting on the miles. Since the first of April I have ridden 140 or so miles. I have also been walking and hiking and keeping busy in other ways.
I have been fighting the temptations of good food and excuses to eat.
I keep pushing. I am not happy with my weight at 200-205. I want to be under 200 pounds. I want my weight to be 195-200. I keep pushing.
I am eating better than ever. I am close to being a vegetarian now. I no longer eat poultry and I gave up red meats over a year ago. Only my addiction to fish keeps me from becoming a full-fledged vegetarian.
I keep pushing.
I rode 50+ miles two weekends ago so I rode 60+ this past. If the weather will cooperate I will ride 70+ this coming weekend.
I keep pushing.
I plan to ride 100 miles each weekend in June if the weather will cooperate. I hope to get to 200 miles per week by September.
I keep pushing
I plan to weigh 195-200 pounds by my Goal Weight Anniversary in August.
This is about me, this blog, the tales of this Journey. I have never pretended to know much about nutrition or fitness or anything about this except as it relates to ME. I tell the story of my Journey, my trials, my tribulations. I talk about my failures and failings, my successes and my growth.
52 years old (minus one day). I think this is the best picture ever taken of me. Wish I had hair…..
This is not about what is right or wrong because it is all good.
If you are doing something completely different from what I am doing and you are having success then it is good. If lifting weights for hours in the gym is your way and it works for you then it is good. If you made the difficult decision to have gastric bypass and it was your last best option and it is working for you then it is good.
I decided that the way for me was to significantly reduce my calories, from over 4000 a day to around 1500, to change the foods I ate, eliminating the trigger foods as well as red meats, peanut butter and jelly and pizza and changing to a nearly vegetarian diet and lastly, to significantly increase my physical activity with hiking and cycling. This is what has worked for me and it is good. For Me.
In the year plus that I have been on this Journey and writing this blog I have been told that I am doing everything wrong, that I will regain the weight, that my method is “stupid”… I have been told that I have to follow a special diet, get rid of carbs, eat only meats, eat only veggies, eat like the caveman, eat like the astronauts….
If that is what works for others, it is fine with me. My opinion really doesn’t matter when it comes to YOU. My opinion only matters when it comes to ME.
The only thing that matters is SUPPORT. Encouragement and support are the backbone of any successful plan.
Think about this: If you have a friend or family member who is significantly overweight and that person decides to get fit they are embarking on what SHOULD BE a life changing course. And it is hard. And it is frightening. And they need support. Not criticism.
When I say significantly overweight I am not talking about 10-15 pounds or even 20-30 pounds. I am talking 70 pounds, 80 pounds, 100 pounds or more. I am talking people who are carrying around an extra person, not a few extra pounds.
I am telling you that the weight loss and fitness Journey I started on December 27, 2011 has been at once the most rewarding and frightening thing I have ever done. Imagine this: 50+ years old and you change everything you possibly can about the way you eat, exercise, live. You go from eating indiscriminately to recording everything you eat. You change from sitting on the couch to walking 5 miles in the freezing rain because you have to get in your miles.
You give up some of your favorite foods, you push yourself to learn new ways to cook, new ways to shop, new ways to live.
And all the while you are diving deep in to your brain trying to understand why you have been slowly killing yourself with food. Why you have been “committing suicide by a thousand bites”.
Imagine that this is you. It isn’t easy is it?
The Journey is hard. It doesn’t matter how the Journey is made. It is hard. It is hard for everyone on it. I have lost 105 pounds since December 27, 2011, 120 pounds from my peak weight. It has been hard. It has been rewarding. It has been the best thing I have ever done for myself and it has been the scariest thing I have ever done to myself. I think that this holds true for anyone on the Journey.
So my Journey is my own. I can’t tell you and I won’t tell you how to do this. If you are going about it in a completely different way, that is fine. I am happy that you are on the Journey. It’s all good.
Whether or not you are on your own weight loss and fitness Journey, support your friends and family and even the strangers you meet who are on the Journey. We need the support. This is hard. A pat on the back helps to ease the Journey.
Mileposts on the Journey
When I started this blog I would report on mileposts I passed along the way: 20 pounds down, 30… and so forth.
As they started flying by and it became “expected” I reported on them less often to the point that I have not really written about them at all in months.
I have passed a few recently and I wanted to write about them a little.
I passed my goal weight on August 8, 2012. I hit 209 pounds that day blasting right past the 210 pound goal. That was 228 days ago. For those 228 days my average weight is 202.5 pounds. Today I weighed 203 pounds when I stepped on the scale. Yesterday I was 202.6. I go up and down as much as a pound from one day top the next. So I am essentially right at my average weight since I hit my goal. And I am 7-8 pounds under my goal. 228 days at or below my goal weight.
The cold weather is interfering with my cycling plans but I am still getting out for hikes. The milepost here is the 7 straight weeks of achieving my fitness minutes. ….
More Hiking Today
I went for a short hike yesterday. I went close to home and climbed the trails around Turkey Mountain in Northern New Jersey. I think many people outside of the area might be surprised that New Jersey has wilderness areas and hiking trails but those of us who live here know. There are beautiful views, steep climbs, deep woods where the sound of traffic does not disrupt….
The hike was just under 4 and a half miles and was with good company. The air was crisply cold and the sky was mostly clear. There was snow cover on much of the trail but it was not a difficult hike and we made it safely.
A view across the valley. You can see One World Trade Center in the distance.
I hike most weekends now. I know it is frustrating Missus that I spend so much time away from the family on weekends but Missus also understands how important the fitness aspect of my Journey is to me.
I am hiking again today. I am driving to a park and I hope to get in 6-8 miles. This will give me 10-12 miles for the weekend and that will be good.
I am wishing for warmer weather but instead we are getting more snow tomorrow. This is getting old.
So I will keep hiking. I can hike in the cold. I find it very difficult to ride in the cold.
I did not wake up one day, look in the mirror and have a sudden realization I was fat. I knew it. I knew it for years. I knew it when people told me I was a Big Guy, I knew it when people told me I carried the weight well, I knew it when I moved from 36 waist to 38, to 40, 42, 44, 46,….
I knew it while I was gaining the weight. I knew it when I would peel off 15 or 20 pounds. I knew I was fat even when I was “only” 30 pounds or 40 pounds or 50 pounds or 60 pounds overweight.
I knew I was fat and I knew I was out of shape.
I knew that I wanted to not be fat and that “someday” I would “Do something about it”.
I sat last night with Missus and three dear friends, the daughter, son, and daughter-in-law of my closest friend. We had a wonderful dinner of sushi and conversation. The daughter, PD, remarked that when I walked in it took her a brief moment to realize it was me. Her mental image of me is so different from the current reality. This got us talking about weight loss, healthy eating, changes.
I realized that for me it came in steps.
I had to admit to myself that I was FAT.
Yes, I knew I was fat. That is simple fact. Intellectual, not emotional. I had to admit it to my emotional self. I had to deal with it in a very personal, very emotional way.
I had to decide to do something about it.
Again, not at the intellectual level but at the emotional level.
I had to decide what to do.
I didn’t want a DIET. I didn’t want the Cabbage Soup-hot sauce-lemon juice-apple vinegar-magic dust diet. I wanted change in life. I wanted a new approach to eating, something I could do for the rest of my life.
I had to do it.
So here I am, fourteen months in to this, seven months at or below my goal weight. Still eating right, still working out, still talking and writing about the daily ups and downs, victories and defeats of this Journey of mine.
I enjoy the talking about it. Maybe a little too much. I get energized by talking about it and I am proud of what I have accomplished. I know firsthand how difficult this Journey is. I know that shedding 100+ pounds is not an easy or simple task and my Journey is unique to me.
The steps have been difficult. The Journey has at once been easy and trying, simple and difficult. What I have experienced and will continue to experience is unique to me and it will not be the same for others.
I will say this. No Journey begins until you take the first step.
Slipped a little
This past week, starting with Valentine’s Day and leading up to last night, Missus and I had dinner out 4 out of 5 nights. Would have been a sixth tonight but a prior commitment prevents that. I am glad to get back to home cooked meals starting with dinner tonight and for the next several weeks. While I do well controlling what I eat, the combination of good food and good conversation lowers my defenses and I have to admit that I over ate a bit the last several days. The scale reflects this in a couple of pound weight gain since a week ago and it is important that I get right back on plan. I cannot allow myself to drift so far from the plan…
Focus back now. Back to the proper eating and on track with the plan.
I am told warm weather is coming. That means back to the hikes, the walks, the BIKE RIDES!!! I can ride in anything above 45 degrees but I prefer it above 50…
I will not allow winter to be an excuse for weight gain. If I was able to continue the weight loss while unable to ride or hike with the knee injury I am not going to allow winter to be the “reason” for weight gain. Still comes down to calories in versus calories out….
Back on plan, back on the elliptical…
A Moments Digression
To a dear friend: I am still here. We are still friends. It will all pass and our friendship will still be here. Always.
I am emotionally volatile. Easily hurt, slow to forgive, quick to anger, quick to love, slow to heal.
My life has been this roller coaster of emotions for as long as I can remember. I have learned to control the worst aspects of it for the most part and I try to hide the hurt when it happens but I usually fail miserably. My moods are wont to change quickly and with little warning. I am sure this makes being a friend of mine a challenge.
Eating (well, gorging), has been a refuge when I am angry. I am an angry/hurt/depressed eater.
I can’t do that anymore.
I have spent the last year plus working at this weight loss and fitness and a huge part of that has been fighting the worst aspects of my being. Keeping my mood up, shrugging off the perceived slights, choking in the anger and fighting off the black dog of depression.
The longer I hold on to anger and hurt feelings the harder it becomes for me to fight off the hunger that accompanies those feelings and the depression that often follows the hurt and anger.
Very recently I had my feelings hurt. The how and why is meaningless for this discussion. It quickly evolved in to anger and now the depression has arrived. Fighting the hunger at night as I lay in bed unable to sleep because of the anger and hurt playing over and over in my head… Not easy. I didn’t do what I would have done 18 months ago. I didn’t go down the stairs to the kitchen and make a big peanut butter and jelly sandwich and wash it down with a tall cold glass of milk. I wanted to. I very much wanted to. I didn’t.
It was hard.
After nearly 52 years in to this life I have little understanding why I am this way. Many years of effort to keep the mood swings under control have resulted in a smidge less volatility and much less explosiveness but by no means is it a small part of my daily life.
Fighting the negative effects now includes fighting the binge eating that follows the hurt, the anger, the depression.
Progress is hard.
Failure lurks.
So far I am winning this battle.
Recent events pushed me closer to failure than I have been in a year plus.
I don’t like the way I feel right now or the way I have felt the last many hours.
I will climb out.
My friends and family know that about me as well.
On the Positive Side…
A small section of Times Square at night
I went to Times Square last night and had dinner with some friends. I ate sushi galore and even allowed myself one mixed drink. Still came in on target for calories and I weigh slightly less this morning than yesterday. A small victory but a nice one to have.
Days like Today
I have to really force myself in to movement today. This is another aspect of depression. I want to do nothing but drink coffee and sit on the sofa but I have stuff to do. I have to run an electrical line in the basement for the new dryer, poke a hole in the wall for the vent, clean the basement so there is access to where the dryer is going and I have to start running the plumbing for moving the washing machine from the third floor to the basement…. Then tonight Missus and I are having Indian food with our dear friends MT and LG.
But here I am doing nothing. I am sitting staring at the computer and writing this blog post because right now this is the therapy I need. I am sure my mood will lift once I get off my rump and get doing…. Not much motivated right now.
Too cold and windy to hike or even walk much. Twenty degrees and high winds with gusts up to 50 miles per hour. Lovely. So my exercise today will be working on the house.
I didn’t go to work because I had root canal scheduled for today. When that was done all I did was sit in front of the computer or watch TV or putter around the kitchen.
I didn’t snack at least….
I also didn’t exercise or…
Lazy day. I don’t like it. It can become habit-forming… And it is a bad habit.
Dinner with Friends at a Vegetarian Restaurant
I have mentioned before that I have a group of friends that I get together with from time to time for dinner. Last night was one of those times. I proposed that we go to a Vegetarian restaurant in a nearby town. The restaurant specializes in Asian cuisine. I was very pleased when the group readily accepted the idea and we met at the scheduled time. I had General Tso’s Crispy tofu and is was delicious but not quite as spicy as I would like it. The others gathered had a variety of dishes that were well received. Having restricted my calories all day so I could really enjoy the dinner without remorse, I ordered the Vegan Chocolate Cake. It was tasty but really suffered from the lack of eggs and milk in the recipe. The texture was dry and firm. Tasty as I said but…
It really made me happy that my friends were willing to go out on the culinary limb and try the vegetarian restaurant. I am not strictly a vegetarian, though I am leaning that way, and I could find something to eat almost anywhere but the selection of a vegetarian restaurant makes it easier for me and for that I am grateful.
The group has been overwhelmingly supportive of me on my Journey. PB and MT have gone on hikes with me, MT nearly being trampled as I fled down the trail in the opposite direction of the snake… Never once have they told me ENOUGH WITH THE WEIGHT LOSS STORIES!
It was a fun gathering, we talked about a range of topics and we enjoyed each other’s company.
Dinner Tonight
Baked Salmon marinated in low sodium soy sauce with fresh ground ginger and fresh garlic, multi-grain rice with black beans and pepper and onion, and Kabocha Squash. It was delicious. I love cooking. Exploring new varieties of foods has been one of the truly rewarding aspects of this Journey.
Kabocha, Baked Salmon, Mixed Grain Rice with Black beans….
After three consecutive nights of Vegan dinners, we have had two in a row with fish. We like the variety.
All of this has prompted us to start planning a garden. I want a large garden. We have the space for it and so…
I am planning 3-4 varieties of tomato, a range of herbs, several pepper varieties, squash (Missus has banned zucchini), eggplant, leafy greens such as spinach and Swiss Chard, broccoli, cauliflower, and maybe some corn and cucumbers…. Critical to this plan will be a fence. Have to keep the deer and rabbits away….
Anyone out there with some good gardening advice?
The Weekend Plans
A 10 mile hike. I want to go to the preserve and do a ten-mile hike. Last weekend I hike 7.5 miles with MT and it was really nearly effortless. This weekend I would like to add an hour to the hike and get to ten miles. I have no doubts about doing it. I just want the weather to cooperate. Anything around 30 degrees and sunshine will work as long as the wind is mild.
A view out across a frozen Swan Lake, Rockefeller Preserve, Sleepy Hollow, NY
This will have to be Saturday because the weather forecast for Sunday is not so nice. I may do the track at the school on Sunday.
I love planning weekends.
Dinner at least once of the nights will be Vegan and the other will be some nice fish we have in the freezer. Probably some Mahi-Mahi….
The Magic and Wonder
I still feel a sense of the magic and wonder of all this. The Journey, how far I have come, the distance yet to travel. Feels like magic to me. It is uplifting and affirming. It can take a dark mood and lighten it. All I need to do is put on last year’s winter coat or an old suit and I am lifted. I am reminded of the change and it changes my day.
In front of the Glacial Erratic, Rockefeller Preserve, Sleepy Hollow, NY. 1/27/2013
No matter how accustomed I become to the revised me I will not lose the sense of wonder that I managed to do this. I lost the weight. I am almost 6 months in to the maintenance part of this and I am still well below the target weight of 210 pounds. Still around 200.
I can’t help but think that I succeed at losing the weight and I am succeeding as maintaining the weight because I kept it simple. I reduced my calories and I increased my activities and I stuck with it and I continue to stick with it. I have done this through trials and tribulations, confusion, stress, fear and anxiety. No matter what, good or bad, was happening in my life I have stayed with this plan.
Food shopping has changed so much for us. Where once meats were the bulk of the groceries now they make up the barest percentage of our purchases. Once we would not buy vegetables and fruit at the warehouse club because we wouldn’t use it up before it started to go bad. Now we by a high percentage of our fruits and vegetables at the warehouse club and never throw any away.
What impresses me is the fact that this has all become natural for us. We do not have to resist the temptations when passing the beef and pork. We have to remind ourselves to buy some ground beef or some sausage for the boys. They don’t quite share our diet yet.
Walking around the Stop & Shop tonight, walking past the tubs of chocolate chip cookies that were once part of our weekly buy and not picking them up, not even thinking about it, not having to talk myself out of it tells me that a very real change in our diet has happened.
We spend more time selecting the vegetables and choosing among the varieties of rice than we do on any other part of the shopping. It is a great thing.
Tonight we bought some fish for dinner tomorrow, we bought more kale, more string beans, frozen fruits, some rice. We bought no-fat Greek yogurt, some all-natural whole grain cereals. This is how we shop.
Yesterday we went to the farmers market and bought peppers, greens, fruits…..
It has changed so in just a year. Truly reflecting the changes we have made.
A SLIGHT area of Concern
The last several days my weight climbed three pounds and I was really concerned and confused by this. I checked and rechecked my calories consumption and my calorie burn and I should have held steady or perhaps lost a slight amount but instead it went up. I knew something was going on because my ring became tight on my finger and it has been close to falling off again after being reduced by two sizes just a few months ago.
To gain the weight that fast had to be water retention I figured so I started to look at what might have changed in the last week that would make me gain weight like this. I found it: penicillin. My Dentist prescribed penicillin for me and I found that a side effect of penicillin is water retention. I feel better now.
But it got my attention.
GetFit Challenge
The GetFit Challenge started today and I dutifully logged in my fitness minutes. I got in 45 minutes of extra walking today at a moderate pace. I am expected to do 150 minutes for the week so I am well on my way. With the good weather expected the next two days I am expecting myself to hit the 150 minutes sometime on Wednesday, maybe Thursday night as I am going to dinner with friends on Wednesday.
Very excited about this challenge. I love having something pushing me like this. Working as part of a team (where I only know one member) is a great motivator. Never want to be the person that let the team down. I Kind of wish that the Challenge started yesterday as I got in a 7.5 mile hike at a brisk pace and it would have really gone a long way towards hitting this week’s goal. Well there is always next weekend’s hike! Perhaps PGB will be available….
Tonight’s Dinner
Well, the streak of vegan dinners came to an end tonight as we had some fish with dinner. Just felt like having some Swai.
Otherwise the dinner was veggie heaven. A slice of Kabocha Squash, broccoli, red pepper and onion with curry, Basmati brown rice and the Swai with salsa and horseradish mustard. Oh, and half a sweet potato.
The interesting thing is that none of this is particularly demanding to make either in skill or time. I put the broccoli, pepper and onion together in 5 minutes with another ten to cook. The Kabocha and the sweet potato roast in the oven for about half an hour or so. The rice cooks during that same time. The Swai goes in the oven at the same time I start cooking the veggies and is done about the same time. Very quick and very easy.
I mention this because a friend once told me he doesn’t eat the way I do because he don’t have time to cook the food. He makes a steak or roasts some chicken and boils up some pasta…. My contention is that it takes about the same time to eat healthy as it does to make the meal my friend mentioned. If life is so busy that you can’t squeeze another 5 minutes to prepare a healthier meal then perhaps you need to reorder your life a little?
I didn’t disappear. I have been working hard and long hours and coming home and crashing….
Yesterday I missed work because I had to replace the main drain in the house. All day project, yesterday. Nearly done, just a little left to do.
GETFIT MIT Challenge
SO my friend NI, one of my most ardent supporters on this Journey of mine, sends me a message one day asking if I would like to be part of a fitness challenge sponsored by MIT on the GETFIT.COM website.
The idea is to log in each day or so and record your fitness activities for the day/week. Goals are set for total minutes of fitness activity each week with the amount increasing each week.
I said SURE!!
I am all about the motivation and not letting teammates down is a powerful motivator for me. I am excited about it. The FitBit makes it easy for me to track my fitness activities and that will make it simple to record on the website.
As the weather improves I will be outside riding and walking and maybe even running and that will help. The rest will be up to me to make sure I get the time in. All of this plays in beautifully to the preparations for bikes rides like the Five-Boro and Montreal and Ride-4-Autism and many others that I plan to do this year.
I think that planning fitness activities be they runs or walks or rides, by signing up for events is a great way to keep motivated. I have invested the money to sign up and that, along with the set date and distance of these events, keeps me on the road walking and riding so that I am ready for the event. The money is a small consideration. I don’t belong to a gym so this is my fitness budget….
I am really excited about this GETFIT challenge. It is everything I want to do: plan activities, get out and do it, BRAG ABOUT IT!!
As The Team and I move along this 12-week challenge I will post updates here and let ya know how we are doing and if I am holing up my end of the bargain!
Damned Cold
I have mentioned before how I really don’t deal well with cold now. I was OK with cold when I was fat. Now, maybe because I have lost so much insulation or maybe because I don’t work as hard moving my mass around, I feel the cold something awful. It makes riding and walking in the cold very hard on me. Much harder than it was last year in similar cold weather. Now the last week is an exception as we have not had this kind of cold in about 3 years. But last winter in 35-40 degree weather I was able to walk and stay warm. Now when I walk, at a much faster pace than I walked last year, I cannot get warm. The feet are a particular issue. They get painfully cold and I know enough about that to know that it is a sign of impending damage.
By mid-week the temperatures in this area are expected to reach the mid 50′s. I am good with that! I will plan a few good long walks after work to kick off the Fitness Challenge! In the mean time I will continue to dream of spring.
My birthday is in early March and I want to get in a 20 to 30 mile ride on my Birthday. Last year I rode 10 miles. I was so proud. I put in a huge amount of walking, steps and a 10-mile ride. This coming birthday I plan to at least equal that. I will actually do it the day before my birthday as the actual day is a Monday. So Sunday will be the day. I just hope the weather cooperates.
Here I am planning for March in the cold of January. I REALLY miss spring…
Time to Hike
The view along the trails last January at the Rockefeller Preserve
I may go for a hike tomorrow. It is going to be above 30 degrees and I really want to get out, even in the cold even with my freezing feet. The LL Bean winter boots will have to do the trick… I can get the body warm…. It is the hands and feet. My gloves had a little pocket in them for those little heat packs. I have never used them but tomorrow might be a good time….
I hate being stuck in the house. I love being on the trail. Maybe take the dog. Casey loves it. Cody is so afraid of the car ride that I can’t take him. Poor thing must think he is being taken to the pound again. He still doesn’t seem to understand that this is his home, he is part of our pack.
A hike does both the body and the mind good. A winter hike helps ward off the winter 5-pound gain I have been warned time and again about. Also sometimes the winter 10….
The Rockefeller preserve calls to me….
Anyone want to go along?
Cooking
One of my hobbies is bread baking and I have done very little of it since I started my Journey. I have not cut out carbohydrates at all but I am a nibbler when it comes to bread and I would rather not have my fresh-baked breads around… I have though recently returned to bread baking for the boys. The Older one loves my whole wheat bread and the Younger loves the French breads.
Some of my Breads….
To avoid the nibbling takes willpower and I have done alright. I find that if I plan it so I eat lunch JUST before the bread come out of the oven I do better…..
I am still exploring vegetarian and fish dishes. Strange thing is the calorie content of some if these recipes. So many fish recipes call for cheese sauces or breading.. So many of the vegetarian recipes call for frying or cream or cheese sauces. We really have a problem in this country with simply prepared foods. Unless it is red meat, we feel we have to drown it in sauces…
Reminds me of a chat I had with a co-worker who insisted that potatoes were very high in calories and very fattening. A baked medium-sized russet potato is about 160 calories and will fit in very nicely with dinner.. I told the co-worker this but she told me she ALWAYS had her potato with butter and sour cream. Well OK then, that adds 300 calories to the potato…
I have my backed potato with a little salsa or some hot sauce, sometimes I stuff it with whatever vegetables I make with dinner… 250 calories, not 450. The innocent potato is not the issue. It is the stuff we put on it…
I put salsa or mustard or lemon slices on the fish. No breading and I never fry the fish. It is always baked, broiled or grilled.
I never feel deprived because of the lack of the cream sauces or frying. I am very satisfied by the meals I make. Simple, complete nutrition, very tasty, very satisfying.
Eating Out
About a year ago, just a few weeks in to my Journey, I went out to eat at an Indian restaurant with my group of friends. I was nervous. I had not eaten out since the start of the Journey and I was concerned about over eating. I went on-line, read the menu, selected exactly what wanted to eat after researching the probable calorie level on-line and I stuck to my choices like glue. I had exactly what I had planned, avoided the appetizers, had no dessert and I went home proud of myself for figuring out how to do it and then sticking to the plan.
A bit more than a year in to the Journey I still do it exactly that way. Next week I am having dinner with the same group of friends. We are going to an Asian vegetarian restaurant. I have been there before so I know what to expect. I have already gone on the website, selected what I will have (General Tso’s Crispy Tofu). I will have soup, no appetizer, no dessert. I will prepare for this by eating a lighter lunch than normal and I will avoid the evening snack. I expect dinner to be 1000 calories. I will enjoy the company of my friends.
The Common Theme
The common theme here is planning. I plan everything and I think it is this more than anything that has allowed me to reach my weight loss goal, maintain the loss and increase my fitness. I plan. I plan hikes, I plan rides, I plan meal whether at home or out with friends. I plan to succeed.
What I really like about the GETFIT team challenge is the planning. Each week has an increased level of activity over the week before. No “when I get the time” thing. If you don’t want to let your teammates down…. Planning
The bike rides I sign up for, the hikes I plan with friends, the evening walks and rides… All about the planning, the setting of goals.
I would not have gotten here without the planning.
When I was driving 90+ miles to work each day it was difficult for me to stay on the plan. Eating breakfast at 4:00 AM and then waiting until noon for lunch was difficult and so I spent too much time talking myself out of eating…
Now I am driving 10 miles to work, eating breakfast at 7:00 AM, eating a very light lunch and then a nice dinner. It gets much easier to stay close to the plan.
Today was a typical day for me in terms of food: Kashi Go-Lean Crunch and a banana for breakfast, a light lunch of fruit and dinner was a piece of fish, kale and mushrooms and butternut squash with some brown rice.
It is all about food right? It is all we think about when trying to lose weight or maintain weight loss. Food. Always food. Calories in, calories out, and what did I eat….
It is also about focus. I got to my peak weight by constantly eating and eating the wrong foods and not thinking about it. The only time I really thought about food was when I was cooking or when I was ordering at a restaurant. Otherwise it was all mindless…
So my day now is about work and thinking about what and when I will eat and making sure I think it all through and count it all.
That is a day in my life.
Loving to cook
I love to cook. It has been one of my favorite hobbies for so long… Tonight I made a dish of kale, mushrooms and corn, sautéed and then steamed. Made it up as I went along. Tilapia topped with tomatoes and horseradish mustard baked in the oven and roasted butternut squash. This is fun. Finding new ways to treat foods each day, keeping the menu varied. WE eat so many different foods than we did 14 months ago. It doesn’t get boring. We are still discovering new vegetable. Mustard greens and Swiss Chard are two new favorites.
All of this rekindles my love of cooking each day. It is not a chore to go to the kitchen and start working on a meal even after a long day at work.
I am looking to all of you for suggestions of new vegetables to try and any recipes…….
Enjoying Getting Tired
I hated doing any physical work. A year plus ago I hated it. I got tired so easily. I hated walking, forget about running. I wanted to ride my bike but the belly was in the way and I got so tired just doing a five mile ride.
I didn’t do anything around the house. I simply was to exhausted all the time. Mowing the lawn was a hated chore.
Things change.
When I ride or hike now I want to get tired. I am disappointed if the hike does not wear me out, if the ride leaves me still feeling fresh. I feel I have not pushed myself if I can finish a 5 mile hike or a 30 mile ride and not feel worn down a bit.
I am enjoying the workouts now. I want to be out of breath, I want to be wearied. The fact is that it takes much more to wear me down then it did 14 months ago. It is now a challenge to push myself to exhaustion and I feel I have accomplished something if I manage to do so.
I am enjoying the act of getting tired.
Strange??
COME ON SPRING (or at least spring like weather)
I need to ride. It is driving me crazy to not ride. I thought this past weekend would give me the opportunity and I had the bike out and ready to go but the weather stayed raw and chill and I didn’t ride. I did hike and that was wonderful. Walking in the woods is like spending time with a dear friend. I allow the woods to do the talking as I walk along with only the occasional response. I can hike even in the chill and I enjoy it nearly as much but it is not the same as riding.
If the weather will get to the mid fifties I can ride. I have all the cold weather gear (as I have mentioned) and I can ride in colder weather but it is from fifty degrees on up that riding becomes fun for me.
I am looking to do a couple of short over-night hikes. Something along the Appalachian Trail… Spring holds that promise.
Here in the gray of winter it is hard to get enthused about much outdoors but I do enjoy cross-country skiing (if only the snow would stick around) and I can (as mentioned) hike.
I wouldn’t call this cabin fever but it is close.
COME ON SPRING.
By the way: I have not had a visit from the Black Dog in weeks. This is a good thing
This weekend was expected to be warm for this time of year in the Northeast. Mid-fifties we were promised. Didn’t happen. Instead we dealt with high forties with damp, raw air. This morning is foggy and dull with a bone chill quality.
Riding yesterday did not happen. I did get the bike ready and I waited for the 50 degrees we were promised but it never happened.
I hope to hike this afternoon. I don’t mind hiking in this weather near as much as I dislike riding in this weather. Despite having all the cold weather riding gear I cannot get comfortable on the bike at anything below 50. Not sure why but that is the case. I can’t keep my feet and hands warm enough no matter what gloves of boots I have tried.
I hate gray weather. COME ON SPRING!!!
I will walk today
Where I plan to walk today
No matter what I will walk today. I want to go to the Rockefeller preserve today but if I don’t I will go to the local track and walk a few miles with the iPod playing in my ears. It was weather like this when I started this journey and it was the walking at the track that placed the first stones in the foundation of my current level of fitness.
The deal is that I have to get past the same issues I had then: walking on gray and dreary days. Getting off my rump and getting out there. The risk is complacency, now as it was then. The only difference is the side of the coin I look at. Then it was battling accepting that I was fat and out of shape and thinking that I would stay that way. Now it is the complacency that comes with having lost the weight and built the fitness and thinking I can stay that way even if I just sit on my rump all weekend.
I will walk today. I am not going to slide back..
Drifting on the Calories
I noticed a drift upwards on my calorie intake this week. I have gone up about 200 calories per day for the week. Not good. Not good at all. I am holding steady on the weight but it is a matter of time before the weight climbs if I do not get back to the 2000 calories per day.. Why did it drift? Carelessness on my part. Giving in to the snack temptation. Noting “BAD” but calories is calories. Getting my head right so that I get back to where I belong starts right now. Light breakfast, light lunch, right sized dinner, light snack. That is the plan. Keep the weight off is the goal.
Weight loss is hard. Keeping weight off is hard. There never was and there never will be anything easy about any of this. Looking in the mirror and seeing the lean man I am now and remembering the fat man I was… Not easy when I step on the scale and see three more pounds than I had two weeks ago… Three pounds is so little. I will not allow it to become four. I am holding steady, still in my range of 195-200 but I do not like the trend one bit. ACT NOW.
No Excuses
Reading a blogging friends post this morning reminded me of a few points that helped me get where I am and will help me stay in my “right” range.
No excuses, no cheat-days, no deviating from the plan. That is how I got here and it is how I will stay here.
To be clear: this is just me. It is not advice. I am not saying that you or anyone else cannot lose weight having cheat days or whatever. I am just saying this is what got me here. I spent a year now deviating from the plan. I think in that year I may have gone over 2000 calories a half a dozen times. I had two pieces of cake in a year. I had two slices of pizza. I had no peanut butter and jelly sandwiches… Avoiding the foods that trip me up and not indulging… That is what got me here.
Yes, I can open it up a little now but very little. I am not having the foods that trip me. I am not going much past 2000 calories. I am not having cheat days…
I will not accept of myself any risk of failure. I have to stay on the plan. That is what has worked for me. I will not use birthdays, holidays, long days, short days, happy days, sad days, rainy days or sunny days as excuses to indulge. I will not step out on to that slippery slope.
This is how I MUST live. I have failed before because I used excuses to indulge. Today. Then again tomorrow. Soon it was every day. Soon I was over 300 pounds again.
No Excuses.
Thank you L for reminding me….
More Plans
If all goes well, May will be a really busy riding month for me. The 5-Boro bike tour in New York City, a weekend of riding in Montreal, and rides in between. June will be busy as well. Montreal really spans in to June and then there is the Revolutionary Ramble in New Jersey, and the Autism Ride as well. Somewhere in the summer is the Multiple Sclerosis Ride in South Jersey. By the end of the summer I want to have ridden my first two Century rides and the High Point to Cape May ride.
I also want to have run my first 5-K and maybe even a 10-K. Keep in mind: running has never been my thing. I want to do It just to show myself that I can..
I want to ride 3500 miles this year. Not sure how I will get that many miles in but I am setting it as my goal. I have no miles in this year. I need to get out there.
Planning. It is what I do. I set goals and develop plans to achieve them.
I will do a lot of club rides this year. That is one way to make the miles. A Saturday and a Sunday ride with members of the club will get me there…
If I can ride 20 miles or so a couple of nights a week….
Vegetarian-Pescetarian
Years ago a friend told me she had gone vegetarian. She ate eggs and dairy, fish occasionally and every so often she had chicken. She was a ovo-lacto-pollo-pesce vegetarian…
Yeah, well….
A typical meal…..
I am not claiming to be a vegetarian. I eat dairy, eggs if they are used as an ingredient, fish and once in a rare while I have poultry.
I am still trying to find a way to ease in to vegetarian. I think where I will end up is still eating fish but not any other meats. I am told that this is called a pescetarian. I am OK with that…
The main point is that I feel really good and I do not miss the red meats at all. I enjoy the largely vegetarian diet though it makes it difficult to grab a quick bite when I am out on the road. I am appalled at what some restaurants call healthy food. Vegetables deep-fried, covered in cheese sauces…
Asked a waitress if the restaurant had any vegetarian dishes and she pointed to the seafood column…
Sigh
Dreams
I used to dream that the weight would magically come off. I would continue to live exactly as I was but the weight would slowly fade away and I would find myself transformed in to a lean and fit man without having to work at it at all. I would simply roll back the clock to when I was 18. Magic doesn’t happen. Dreams require work to come true.
It is true. You can begin to lose the weight when you are ready to lose the weight. I had to be ready. I had to reach the point when I was ready for the work. I was going to say sacrifice but I realize now that I was sacrificing before I lost the weight. I was sacrificing my health so I could eat like a hog at the trough.
It is work to make dreams come true but I don’t think of it as a sacrifice any longer. Now I realize that the sacrifice had already been made. If anything, I was no longer willing to sacrifice.
I am living this dream now because I gave up sacrificing my future.
In which I contemplate absurd moments in parenthood, occasionally attempt to refer to myself as a “triathlete” while keeping a straight face, and maybe post some random pictures of stuff I’m knitting
"For heaven's sake (and for the Earth's), let's get it together. Get out there! Listen! The wild places will fill you up. Let them." Walkin' Jim Stoltz, 1953 - 2010
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