Today and All that it is

Lunch Today

Holding Steady

For lunch today I stepped out to the local A&P store and went to the salad bar. A couple of cups of spinach, cucumber, tomato, salad dressing, some pineapple and berries and I was good to go. Later I calculated it all out and lunch was a grand total of 250 calories.

This is easy for me. It wasn’t always but it is now. I passed a Chinese buffet, three pizza parlors, one bagel joint, a Memphis BBQ place, and a McDonald’s’ on my way to the A&P and the salad bar.

I would have given up on the A&P and gone to anyone of the temptations listed above. Not now. I think about it. I think about how much I love a good Chinese buffet. I love BBQ. I even like McDonald’s.

I just don’t eat that way. I don’t eat red meat so the McDonald’s is pretty much out. I rarely have pizza (two slices in the last year plus) and today is not a day for bagels….

Salad Bar.

Lovely woman cashier teased me about the light lunch. “Thin as you are you should eat more than a salad”. When I told her I had lost 100+ pounds and that is why I eat this lightly She was amazed, congratulated me and told me I look wonderful. I heard her telling the cashier next to her “that guy lost 100 pounds!” as I walked towards the door.

I will be walking a little lighter today from the good feeling that gave me.

Just after I finished my lunch my boss poked his head in my office and asked if I wanted to order Chinese. Old Days: Despite having the salad I say YES and order General Tso’s Chicken. Today? No thanks, just ate. Had I not had a salad? I would have ordered soup.

You can do it. It just takes making the right decisions one decision at a time.

Lessons I am learning:

When I started this Journey I was petrified at the thought of allowing any sort of indulgence. I still avoid them. The reason is simple: allow it today, becomes OK tomorrow, becomes 310 pounds….

My Recent Indulgence. Birthday Cake for Missus. The Younger and I baked it together

Now that I am below my goal weight I have learned that I can have one bad day and get back on it the next day. I still watch it like a hawk and I expect I always will but I have learned to not panic if I allow that one day out of 30 where the calorie count goes high or the piece of birthday cake is a little too large… I have developed the discipline to allow that on the very rare occasion and still get back to the plan, keep on track. That I have maintained my weight below the goal weight since last August 8, 2012 is evidence that I am able to get back to plan very quickly after a day on the wild side.

I will not get smug about this. I am still ever watchful. I must be. I just won’t panic now if I have that one day above plan. I have learned to not let it become two days.

I have had to learn to listen to my body. I never did. I certainly didn’t listen when I was getting it beyond heavy to obese. I pushed past the warning signals, the cry for mercy. I simply refused to hear. As I started my Journey I maintained the same habit. I would not listen when my body begged me to rest. I pushed because I knew my body was a liar. I was asking it to wok and it was telling me it couldn’t. This was why I tried to cycle even though I had injured my knee. I wanted to believe I could push my body past the pain and keep up the activity level and the calorie burn.

I pushed when I had head colds, the flu, aches and pains. I am certain I made problems worse (I certainly did with my knee) by doing this but I was driven to get fit.

Now I am working on listening. I have been dealing with the remnants of a head cold and I dearly wanted to get on the bike last night. I had to listen to the body. It told me no. The body said it wasn’t ready. My body was right. I mowed the lawn and then I had to rest on the porch for a bit. If I had tried to cycle I would have been calling Missus asking her to come fetch me.

I am learning to trust what my body tells me. Not all the way there yet, I still suspect the body of lying now and again, but I am getting there.

Confusing People

Pizza day in the office at work tomorrow. I didn’t know anything about this until I got a text a little while ago from a woman in the office telling me not to bring lunch because they are ordering in pizza.

I texted back a thanks but mentioned I don’t eat pizza and will have my normal lunch.

The reply text? “Really? NO PIZZA???”

It confuses people.

Yes I did say above that I can allow the occasional indulgence. That was birthday cake this weekend past. It isn’t pizza tomorrow. Discipline.

People see me as lean. They don’t know what it took to get here. It confuses them. I am lean, why not enjoy a slice or two? Because I plan to stay lean.

Decisions. As I said above, making the right decisions one decision at a time.

Peace

May 19, 2013
by mrmarkls Leave a comment

Sunday Night and I am getting Better

Recovery

I spent the last several days deeply under the weather with a very unpleasant head cold (are any of them pleasant?).

I missed two days of work and really have not been fully functional this weekend though Missus and I did celebrate her birthday on Saturday with dinner at a very nice Japanese restaurant with good friends. A very good time had by all.

I am feeling almost human. Work calls tomorrow and life will pick up speed again….

I needn’t tell you that I didn’t ride at all or walk much or do much of anything since Wednesday and I am feeling like a tree sloth right now, fat and slow.

The weight held steady, actually dropped slightly, so I am ok there. I flexed my eating (yeah, sure, a lack of appetite due to the cold had nothing to do with it) and avoided the bedridden weight gain.

Today it was a cold and dreary and wet day so there was no riding to be done even had there been no head cold to contend with. Somehow the fact that the weather would have kept me from riding in any case made me feel better about not being in any shape to ride…

Strange

By mid-week I suspect I will be in fine shape.

The coming week and weekend

The weather this week will be a challenge. It is expected to be warm but with a possibility of thunderstorms… Then of course there is the holiday weekend.

Travel to and from a big cookout out-of-state will make riding a challenge.

I will find a way….

How much one changes in a year…

310 pounds, Summer 2011. I am not him anymore. I am starting to understand who I am now

At the cookout last year I was in the 235 pound range, 70 or so pounds down from my starting weight and people were STUNNED at my weight loss. I am 30 pounds lighter now and I have maintained the goal weight since last August.

I am simply not who I was a year ago. Not even close to the person I was two years ago.

I get less visits from the Black Dog, less episodes of depression. I am less anxious about my weight and less nervous about allowing the occasional indulgence.

Some things have not changed or have changed only in the depth of my commitment. I am still not eating red meats and I have started to phase out other meats, poultry and fish, as well. My commitment to fitness is deeper now. It was strong a year ago. It is a passion now.

I am always planning my next walk, my next hike, my next ride.

I am as passionate about my health as I was a year ago. I still talk about it incessantly. I am still writing this blog and still thinking out my days as they will relate to food and exercise.

What has changed? I am now much more accustomed to living the way I live now. It is now less forced. I am planning and thinking from habit now not from conscious effort. I run a tab in my head of everything I eat. I know the calories by heart now. I still record them in the LOSEIT.COM app, still record even one jelly bean. No though I do it from habit. It is natural for me to do this. I don’t have to remind myself, force myself, over think it.

A year ago I was constantly reminding myself to records it, plan it, think it, do it.

Now I just do it.

In situations like the upcoming cookout I will remind myself to not snack and nibble and I will remind myself to walk around a great deal to get in the steps. I will probably go up and down the flight and a half of steps on the deck 30 times or more in the course of the day. I will remind myself to make sure that happens.

It is in the day-to-day that I am beginning to grow comfortable, beginning to feel that this lifestyle has become my life. I am learning to be the person I have become. Sounds like the cart in front of the horse but, for me, it works just that way.

Peace

May 9, 2013
by mrmarkls 2 Comments

Thursday and All is Well

Odd Things

I knew that losing weight and getting fit would bring on changes in my body. I just wasn’t really prepared for just how extensive those changes would be. As Missus and I did a next-to-last purge of the fat man clothes a few nights ago I came across a pair of dress slacks that I had for years. Wonderful wool slacks, a medium gray, the best pair of slacks I have every owned, now way to large. How large? I was able to put BOTH of my legs in to one of the pants legs… Should have taken a picture of THAT….

Jackets once too tight now wrap around me like a bathrobe. Sweater once snug are now like tents on me.

All three males in this household wear the same waist pants! 34-inch waist on the Older, the Young and the Dad….

Odd things.

Like these….

I started wearing Bib-shorts for cycling a number of years ago because the waist on regular cycling shorts would roll down because of my gut. Bib-shorts would serve the dual purpose of preventing that and holding in the belly so I looked a little thinner.

I got to the point I was wearing XXL bib-shorts.

Now all my bib-shorts are too large on me (even the XL) and I now find that I wear a MEDIUM in a regular cycling short. How’s THEM apples….

Fortunately I do have a couple of pair of bib shorts that still fit OK and I can wear them but…. Well, I am looking forward to buying regular cycling shorts. IN A MEDIUM!

My jersey size is still an XL… Go figure… Well that is at least in part because I like a slightly loose jersey and my long torso begs for a longer shirt….

Odd things…

Trying to Keep the Calories UP

I am having trouble again keeping my calories up. I find that with the new job (and the increased walking and so forth) and my continued slide to vegetarian I am coming in at

Roasted Cauliflower, Sweet Potato, and Broccoli, Coriander Chutney, Matouks Flambeau Hot Sauce and Lentils in a spicy tomato Sauce…

1000 calories or more UNDER plan. This would explain why I have dropped 3 pounds this week on top of the two I lost on the ride this past weekend. I have dropped from 206 on Friday last to 201 this morning.

I have to watch this. Dropping that much that fast at this point is not a good thing. I have to find a way to increase the calories without putting myself at risk of losing control of my eating. This is a concern for me no matter what. I just have to watch it so closely…

Tonight I find myself at a 990 calorie short fall. This is after I allowed myself a chocolate chip cookie (empty, but delicious, calories). So I will be adding in a more substantial lunch at work to see if I can bring the calories up that way. I also need to increase the size of breakfast. Ding that my last three breakfasts have been less than 300 calories… Should be closer to 450 now that I am in maintenance mode…

When I was fat all I really thought about was food. Now that I am lean and for all of the Journey all I ever really think about is food.

Just a different angle on it now…

Giving Back to my Sport…

One of the nice things about an organized bike ride, be it a fund-raiser or just a fun ride, is the rest areas. Free food like PB&J sandwiches, bananas, cereal bars and the like, and water bottle refills, restrooms, and a place to rest up off the bike for a few minutes. They are staffed by volunteers who would probably rather ride but give back to their sport and work the rest areas instead.

I volunteered for a ride sponsored by my bike club last year because I could not ride due to my knee injury.

I was asked to volunteer again this year and I have agreed to do so. The ride is the Ramapo Rally and I will be working the Montville Township NJ rest area. Look for the guy with the Pepper Theme cycling cap.

I look at it as giving back to the sport that has given me so much.

All is Right, Right Now…

Life has normalized a little for us right now. I am working and feeling good about the new job. It is right in my wheelhouse in terms of skills and knowledge and I am enjoying the challenges and I feel on top of my game.

The boys are doing well. The Younger is doing well in school and he is great at watching the Older one for us. The Older one is doing fine, still is, and always will be, a challenge but he is settling a little and his rough times are getting shorter, less rough and a little further apart. We think we have found a program for him for two or three days a week and so he will be able to get out of the house and be with his peeps. That HAS to help. Missus is looking forward to a few hours a few days a week to herself.

It has been a rough road the last few months. I dealt with much self-doubt and frustration. In the old days I would have found refuge in food. This time I found refuge in activity. Cycling mostly, hiking as well. I found the release and relief in pushing myself. This is so far removed from where I was.

So right now, this day, this week, All is Right with my little corner of the world.

A little side note

A note to my friends at home, on Facebook and on this blog, and to my family for their support of the Ride 4 Autism. So far your generosity has raised nearly $1000.00 on my ride page. I am stunned and deeply humbled by the generosity. Thank you

Peace.

May 7, 2013
by mrmarkls 6 Comments

Tuesday Reflections and Feelings

How it REALLY Feels

I have written about this before but I have given it more thought and I want to write about it some more.

Loving it!

How good do I feel?

People often say something to the tune of “I bet you feel great” or “You must feel wonderful”, referring to how I feel physically now that my body no longer carries around so much extra ME.

I always answer the same way, in the affirmative. I do feel great, I do feel wonderful. Things that once ached all the time now don’t ache at all or ache rarely or less. The interesting thing though is that it is only in retrospect that I realize how awful I felt.

I didn’t know at the time that being fat and out of shape caused so much of the aches and pains. Much of it I put down to getting older. The inevitable consequence of an aging body. I didn’t understand, or didn’t want to understand, that it was the weight, the abuse of the body from carrying over 100 pounds of excess.

How does it really feel? It feels as though I have taken 10 or more years off my body. I can do now at 52 what I could not do at 42. I can do at this age what 15 years ago was becoming a struggle. I feel as though I have lost not only pounds but age as well.

How does it really feel? It feels as though life has been given back to me. It feels as though I have opened closed doors and found a me I thought was lost forever.

Losing the weight, building the fitness feels like I found a secret to life. It is the kind of thing that if it happened for you overnight after the visitation of three spirits you would open the window and shout it out to all who would hear and you would buy a prize turkey for everyone in sight.

Do I feel great? What it better than great?

With the Five-Boro behind me now I am looking forward to the next few adventures.

I am going on a hike this coming Saturday with good friends MT and PGB. I believe PGB said it is something like 8 miles of trail. Included in this is a “Billy-Goat Climb”, meaning, I suspect, that it is a hand-over-hand steep ascent. I am really excited about this. Not so long ago PGB would not have even proposed such a hike to me. Now it is simply another good hike in good company.

If I get back early enough I will go on a bike ride to the Bike Club Picnic. We will see. I plan to ride Sunday afternoon as well, once we return from visiting my Mother-In-Law for Mothers Day.

June 2nd I have the Tour of Bergen County. 45 miles through the hills of Northeastern New Jersey. That should be fun but I am nervous about the hills.

June 8th comes the next big challenge, the Ride 4 Autism. 62 miles through the countryside of central New Jersey. Beautiful area. This ride is very dear to me as it raises money for Autism awareness and research. It is my daily hope that treatments for Fragile X Syndrome will be found as a direct result of this research.

Between this weekend and the Ride 4 Autism, I will get in as much cycling as I can. I really need to hit the hills. I need the practice and I need to build the stamina and leg strength.

I need to find more rides for later in the year. I want to do the North-Fork Century on Long Island at the end of the summer but it is a very expensive and I am not sure I can justify the expense.

There is another Century ride in Connecticut in the fall that appeals to me and I am giving it serious thought.

Of course there will also be some hiking in there.

This is what I mean when I say I opened a door and found a me that was lost forever.

Eating

Today marks day three of vegetarian eating. No meat of any type: mammal, bird, or fish. This isn’t really intentional. It is just progressing that way.

We have added quinoa to our menu to increase the amount of protein we are getting, also added more beans. We also get protein from dairy. We are sliding to vegetarian, not vegan.

A typical dinner: Kabocha and Butternut Squash, Brown Rice, mixed greens and a Sweet Potato

We are excited that local produce will start to hit the market in a couple of months and we will plant our own garden in another couple of weeks. We are especially looking forward to home-grown veggies…

The boys are not following us on this so far. They continue to eat red meats. Burgers are a big favorite. We are trying to set the good example and we encourage them to follow. We have had limited success so far. The Older One eats anything we serve him so we are having more success with him. The Younger One…

If you had told me two years ago this would be me I would have scoffed.

Life, who knew?

Peace

May 3, 2013
by mrmarkls 6 Comments

OH BOY

The Day Before the Eve of The Ride

So Sunday is the BIG DAY OF THE BIG RIDE. The largest ride in America. 32,000 cyclists, riders, pedal-pushers, bike riders rolling on the car-free streets of New York City.

Wow.

I am in the best shape of the last 20+ years and I am ready for this ride.

2010. Notice the belly on me? 250 pounds but I did finish the ride…..

When I did it in 2010 I was not so much ready for the ride…

I was 50 pounds heavier than I am now.

I had only been back to riding since March of that year.

I barely made it all the way through the ride.

It was the day that I met my friend NI in person for the first time and I am sure he looked at this large guy and thought “no way he completes the ride”….

No such concerns now. I am in shape for the ride and ready to go.

200 pounds. notice the lack of a belly!

Of course many things can happen, many of them bad, when you are riding with 32,000 others. Crashes are a known risk. Bumps, bangs bruises… All can happen. Muscles pull, hamstrings strain… But I am not concerned about them this time. I am really ready to ride and I am excited as all get out to be going.

SO NI will meet me at the Bike Expo tomorrow when we pick up the ride packets and we plan to have dinner with some friends. Then Sunday. At 7:45 AM. We ride.

I am a different person than I was in 2010.

And that is a very good thing.

My Headlong Rush

My conversion is nearly there. I will never be all the way there but I am nearly there.

Vegetarian…

I will always have some fish and poultry in my diet I suspect. I love lox too much to give it up entirely… But the amount of my diet that meats of any type occupy is steadily shrinking. Tonight’s dinner was vegetarian. As was dinner two nights ago and several o f the nights before that. Last night was Sushi…

I had a bit of chicken for lunch today.

Very little meats. No red meats at all.

Why?

I have written about this before and it bears another look.

I am not an PETA type. I have no problem with the slaughter of animals for human consumption. We are at the top of the food chain and I am not bothered by that.

I am doing it because I truly believe it is a healthier diet and that it will prolong my life by reducing my risk of heart disease, stroke, and some cancers. This includes the cancer that has been a scourge of my family for three generations, Colon Cancer.

I like Beef. I like Pork. I am ok with lamb but it isn’t a favorite. I have given up the red meats because I believe that my health is more important than the food. I miss eating a juicy burger. I miss bacon. I just won’t eat them because I weighed 300+ pounds and I have done damage to my body and I am now working to reverse or at least slow the progress of some of that damage. I believe giving up red meats, fatty foods, indulgences in treats and snacks, and replacing them with fruits and vegetables, whole grains and small portions of fish or poultry give me the best chance of living a longer and healthier life.

I call this my headlong rush because it is picking up speed and gaining momentum. And I like the rush.

New Job

As some of you know, I have been unemployed/under employed since January when my “Great New Job” in Pennsylvania evaporated. I have been picking up some work doing service tech work. The problem with this is I spent more than half of the day in a truck driving to the job sites. Too much time on my butt, not enough on my feet.

The new FULL TIME JOB starts on Monday and I will be back to doing what I do best, and like to do best. I am managing manufacturing department. I will be on my feet walking around the largest part of the day. I will be back to the activity level I am accustomed to and comfortable with. And there is every chance that I will get home at a reasonable time in the evening and get to ride!

It is 19 miles way. I am trying to figure out how to cycle there…..

That would be GREAT!!!!

See Ya Sunday Night

I won’t be posting tomorrow. If all goes well I hope to write a nice long post, complete with a few pictures, about the Five Boro Bike Tour. I am very excited about the ride and I hope toi have a really good post to write on Sunday night.

Do me a favor everyone: Get Up. Get Out. Walk, ride, run, DO.

Peace

April 29, 2013
by mrmarkls 4 Comments

The Week Begins, After a Really Good Weekend

The Monday After

Me, On the 50 mile ride this weekend

There was a time, a long, long time ago when I might ride 60-70 miles in a weekend. I certainly rode well over 100 miles in a week many times.

It has been a long time since I have ridden so far in a weekend.

I did it this weekend.

I few weeks ago I had a 60 mile weekend. This weekend I had a 70 mile weekend and I feel wonderful

On Saturday I rode 52 miles (as mentioned) and yesterday I did an easy 18+ to keep the legs limber.

I expected to be a little leg-weary today. I wasn’t. I feel great! The legs feel normal. I was up and down stairs today with no sense of stress or effort.

This is progress!

It was a Super Weekend

After weeks of cold and wet and dismal weather, we had a wonderful weekend. Bright sunshine, morning chill giving way to 70-degree afternoons. The Saturday ride started out chilly but soon warmed nicely and with little wind we were all able to enjoy a good spring ride. That afternoon we grilled dinner and ate on the deck.

On Sunday, Missus and I went out and did some shopping and enjoyed each other’s company. We shopped at a little gourmet grocery store and picked up a baguette, some roasted eggplant, some corn and bean salsa, some salmon….

I went for the 18 mile ride after we came home and when I returned I smoked the salmon and we had roasted vegetables and the salmon with the salsa and the roasted eggplant for dinner. Dessert was fresh pineapple.

Somewhere in all this Missus and I went shopping and bought flowers for the front of the house and I planted marigolds, posies and a variety of daisies along the fence.

The Younger and I spent some time together kidding around and playing with the dogs. The Older one spent time with us on the porch as I planted the flowers…

All in all? I couldn’t ask for a better weekend.

That Ain’t so Much…

I was told recently that losing 100+ pounds was not much of an accomplishment. It was the opinion of he who made the statement that losing 100 pounds seemed easy to him because he had lost 15 pounds “like nothing, so 100 pounds Ain’t Much”…

Sigh

To each their own.

It has been a big deal to me.

Just thought I would mention it.

I Don’t Stand Out!

Someone took a handful of pictures of the ride on Saturday and posted them on Facebook. Nice pictures of a fun ride on a beautiful day. I am in three or four of the pictures.

Here is what stood out to me about the pictures I am in: I don’t stand out.

I don’t stand out. Let that sink in for a second.

When you are 100+ pounds overweight you stand out. You are the focus of every photograph. Even standing in the back, hiding behind three or four skinny people, you stand out.

I have stood out in pictures for so many years…. In pictures of family events. In pictures of a casual get-together. In candid shots. In formal shots. I stood out.

In these pictures I stand out to me because I don’t stand out. I look like I belong. I look “normal”. I look unexceptional. I look like everyone else on the ride. I am wearing my cycling tights and my cold weather jersey and I look just like everyone else on the ride.

Later in the pictures I have taken off the cold weather jersey and I have on my regular short-sleeved jersey and I looks just like everyone else.

I don’t stand out.

I am still letting that sink in.

This Week

The Five-Boro Bike Tour is next Sunday. I will spend this week staying healthy and preparing for the ride. I MIGHT get in an evening ride this week if the schedule and the weather permits. Mostly I will stretch, walk, rest and eat right.

And I will stay away from anyone who sneezes or coughs.

I hope to get to the High School field and do some bleacher-sets because I really need to build leg-strength. I don’t seem to have regained all I lost after the knee injury and I am REALLY struggling with hill climbs on my bike…

SO that is the plan. Stay in one piece for the week…

Wish me luck

Peace.

April 23, 2013
by mrmarkls 2 Comments

Tuesday Night Thoughts

A Short Note

I need to explain. It is not so much the inability to get exercise that is depressing me about this cold weather. It is the lack of the freedom and exhilaration I feel when I am riding. I can’t get this when I ride an exercise bike or wind trainer. I can’t get it when I hike or walk. It is a feeling I only get when I ride.

I do not recall ever feeling the frustration with the weather that I have been feeling the last few weeks.

Not a fun feeling.

Bounce

My weight bounced up over the last week. It also dropped. Then it bounced up again. Then I got myself figured out and got myself back to the plan and now it is going down steadily again.

Staying with the plan is critical for me. If I allow myself to stray I start to gain weight. I find that I really cannot allow myself the indulgences. When I do I gain weight and that is a frightening thing for me. Let’s be clear. I gained 4 pounds and saw 209 on the scale for the first time in a very long while. I still have not gone over my goal weight of 210 since I passed it last August but 209 is entirely too close for my comfort.

I am now back under 205.

This is as it should be. Plan. Execute Plan. Achieve (or maintain) Goal.

FOOD

This was dinner tonight:

Roasted Kabocha and Butternut Squash

Roasted Sweet Potato

Multi-Grain Rice

Sauté of Orange Sweet Pepper, Bok Choy and Spinach

My word it was good.

How I Feel

Physically I feel great. I am able to do things I could not have done a year and a half ago. I am lean. I am fit. I can walk ten miles, cycle fifty mile, run about 12 feet… Ok, so running is still a challenge for me.

My surgically repaired knee feel OK. Still some ligament pain but that is to be expected. The joint does not hurt and I have no issues with it when I cycle or hike…

My blood pressure is great and I am still working on getting off the meds entirely at some point. My heart rate is fantastic.

There isn’t much I can do about the rest of me. Fifty-two is 52. I am in great shape for a fellow who worked really hard at abusing his health for so many years.

Mentally…. I have my ups and downs. I am frustrated with the weather, my employment situation and assorted other things. I am wrestling with emotions as I watch my weight bounce, feel I am not getting in the workouts that I should and I constantly worry about falling down and gaining the weight…

So I am normal.

Being Positive

I have started reading a blog by a young woman who is just starting her Journey. She writes well and she writes from the heart. I enjoy reading it and I see in her so much of what I go through.

She thanked me for a few of my comments on her blog, thanking me specifically for being so positive.

This got me thinking.

Yes. I think I am positive. I rarely doubted that I would make my goal weight. I had confidence that I could set the goal, develop the plan and I could make it happen.

This is not to say that I did not struggle. If you have ready much of this blog I think you will have read posts about my struggles, both physical and emotional. This has not always been an easy thing. In fact it has rarely been easy.

In the face of the struggles though I have kept myself focused on the plan and the goal. Then Goal never changed: lose weight and become fit. The only thing that change was the target weight. I dropped it from 230 to 210. The plan changed quite a bit as I learned about my body, learned to eat better, learned to exercise. The plan changed but the goals remained. And that is where I am now.

Staying positive in the face of struggled and frustrations and fears.

Staying positive in the face of daunting odds.

Staying positive in the face of negativity.

Being positive is the critical thing. Getting support from friends and family. Tuning out the naysayers and trash talkers.

Being Positive that you are doing this for YOU for the right reasons and that you will succeed.

We all need a pep-talk no and then.

I just gave me one.

Peace.

April 16, 2013
by mrmarkls 1 Comment

Weight Variations

It Don’t Mean a Thing if you aint got that Swing

I am amused when someone tells me they are “exactly” XXX pounds. “I always weigh exactly XXX pounds, have since High School….”

I know it seems absurd that anyone would say that but I have had several people tell me this with minor variations in wording.

When someone asks my weight I say “between 200 and 205″. It is then that some will say the “exactly” comment.

I don’t weigh the same from one hour to the next.

The last week or so my weight has been swinging like mad. I went from 203 to 208 to 202 in a matter of four days. I am talking 6:30 AM weigh-in after morning rituals. 203-208-202….

Since I started this Journey I have not seen anything even close to this sort of mad swing.

Not worried about it or anything, just amazed really. I don’t feel the swing. My clothes didn’t suddenly get tight. I didn’t suddenly feel sluggish and fat. I just saw it on the scale. I checked on another scale and it was within half a pound. Weird.

I suppose it can be written off to water weight or “stuff” processing through the system (so to speak). Still. In the year plus of this Journey I have not seen this sort of thing over a 4 or 5 day span.

Odd.

FOOD PICTURE:

The warm weather has allowed us to grill!!!

Grilled Tuna, Grilled Mushrooms, Saute’ of kale and collard greens, Grilled onions with sun-dried tomato, rosematta rice and coriander chutney,

Pushing

I have been riding my bike a great deal. Been putting on the miles. Since the first of April I have ridden 140 or so miles. I have also been walking and hiking and keeping busy in other ways.

I have been fighting the temptations of good food and excuses to eat.

I keep pushing. I am not happy with my weight at 200-205. I want to be under 200 pounds. I want my weight to be 195-200. I keep pushing.

I am eating better than ever. I am close to being a vegetarian now. I no longer eat poultry and I gave up red meats over a year ago. Only my addiction to fish keeps me from becoming a full-fledged vegetarian.

I keep pushing.

I rode 50+ miles two weekends ago so I rode 60+ this past. If the weather will cooperate I will ride 70+ this coming weekend.

I keep pushing.

I plan to ride 100 miles each weekend in June if the weather will cooperate. I hope to get to 200 miles per week by September.

I keep pushing

I plan to weigh 195-200 pounds by my Goal Weight Anniversary in August.

I keep pushing.

Why?

Because I have been fat.

I won’t go back.

Peace

March 31, 2013
by mrmarkls 1 Comment

Hiking and Biking

A weekend of activity

I spent much of this weekend active…

On Saturday I hiked at the Rockefeller Preserve. Something between 10.4 and 11.6 miles. I don’t quite trust the GPS app on my iPhone….

The beautiful blue sky from the parking lot of the Preserve

views along the way

View Towards the Hudson

It was in any case a good, brisk hike and I enjoyed being out in the almost warm air of a day that seemed to promise that better, warmer weather is just around the corner after all. I really enjoy the preserve with its walking trails, surprising vistas, peaceful woods and burbling brooks. You can almost forget the real world while there…

On a trail bridge over Route 117

The hike was the longest I have taken in a long time and it was relaxing while being energizing. The sole downside was the pain in my feet from a poor selection of socks…

I was very good about eating when done with the hike. It would have been easy to fall in to the trap of taking advantage of the extra calories burned but I kept the day to 2300 calories. Exactly where I want to be for weight maintenance.

Today I joined the local bike shop for their weekly Sunday morning ride. Thirteen of us went off on a short ride of 22+ moderately hilly miles. I loved the ride for many reason, not the least of which was that much of the ride went through my old-home-town. I was very happy to have conquered a hill I had never ridden up successfully, always having to walk a part of it. This time I rode the entire hill. This victory was tempered by having to walk a longer, steeper hill later in the ride. Several other walked it as well so I didn’t feel quite so badly as I would if I had been the only one…

My new goal is to conquer Two Bridges Road…

So 11 miles walking yesterday, 22 riding today. A very good weekend of activity and I have controlled the eating…

With the 5-boro ride just four Sundays away I need to build the base miles. Riding in the evening will be difficult due to the unpredictability of my day. Based on how I felt today, I can do the 42 miles of the ride but I would really like to build up the stamina for some of the bridge approaches…

I am feeling really good. The surgically repaired knee feels great. I have no pain, no discomfort at all when cycling and only a minimal amount when going downhill while hiking and that is in the ligaments, not the damaged meniscus. This is a good thing!

Peace

March 28, 2013
by mrmarkls 4 Comments

When I forget, all I need to do is remember

Staying in Control

There are times when the temptations are very difficult to resist. Today I was out on the road and I was very hungry. It was about 1:30 in the afternoon. Well past the normal lunch time and I had not eaten since breakfast at 6:45. I had my normal breakfast of a cup of cereal, cup of blueberries and half a cup of lactose free 2% milk. A little under 290 calories so I call it 300. A good way to start the day. I will sometimes eat lunch. Sometimes I don’t bother. Today I was HUNGRY. Eat my left thumb kind of hungry….

There was the pizza parlor. The sign said “VOTED BEST PIZZA IN TOWN THREE STRAIGHT YEARS: 2010, 2011, 2012!” Ohh so tempting…. I was half way towards convincing myself that I would go and have JUST ONE SLICE….

SO SO SO wanted to….

I was running all the excuses in my head, all the justifications, all the rationalizations..

You know that I am sure: I have worked hard today, I need the calories… I will go for a long long long walk on Saturday to burn it off… I DESERVE IT….

So easy to fall in to the trap…..

I didn’t. I stopped myself. I started to forget the disciplines I have put in place, the strictly controlled course I follow… I was so ready to tip in to the abyss.

But I stopped myself.

I stopped, I thought. I pictured the me of 16 months ago. I had started to forget but I didn’t. I remembered the me I was then. The 310-pound me. The 48-inch waist me. The Obese me. I stopped. I put the min d back to the place it needed to be.

I had a cup of pineapple and two McIntosh apples… It held me until dinner.

When I forget why I just stop and think and I remember why. I remember who. I remember what.

I remember the pledge I made to myself, to my children, to Missus. I pledged that I will never go back to that place, back to the 310 pound me. I would never do it, I would never forget.

When I forget, all I have to do is remember. Today was a close call. I will remember it.

WARM(er) Weather IS COMING!!

Going to get some miles on this soon!!

The forecast is for mid-50′s this weekend. I am so happy I could plotz (Google it). Saturday MAY be a long hike or a moderate distance bike ride with the club (40 miles), not sure which yet. Sunday will be a ride with the local bike shop. Short ride, 22 miles, but it will be a fun ride. I may also hike in the afternoon Sunday unless Missus wants some housework out of me…

I have been going slightly (ok, not so slightly) stir crazy with the cold weather. I love the hiking and I am glad that I can get out there and do it but I really want to ride. I have some long rides planned this year and I need to lay down the base miles and get ready for them.

WARM(er) Weather is Coming!!!

Just had to share.

Plans for the garden

One of the nice things about a house in the suburbs with a reasonably large yard is the ability to plant a garden and grown some of our own food. For years we planted tomato and pepper plants but the last three we have not as disruptions in our life made it questionable if we would be in the house at harvest time.

Now that our situation seems to have settled somewhat and our diet progressing ever closer to vegetarian… WE are planning a garden again.

This one will be larger and more ambitious than any we have grown before.

Yummmmm LOVE tomato….

Tomatoes of three or four varieties, hot and sweet peppers, red and golden beets, eggplant, cucumbers, squash, both summer and winter varieties, and herbs. We may decide on other plants as well but that is the plan right now.

We are looking at a plot 20 by 30 feet or so. We are now in pursuit of a roto-tiller we can rent or borrow…

I expect I will write more about this as we move along…

Peace