Running in Place
A little bit frustrated right now.
Well, OK, I am very frustrated right now.
As I look at my calorie log, I am still maintaining 1600-2000 calories a day, averaging 1700 a day. I am very careful about logging my food, cheating to the high side if I m not sure of the serving size…
My activity level is staying high, 3500-4000 calories a day burned, averaging 3700.
Yet my weight has stagnated again. I have hovered between 255 and 252 for a week now and it is bothering me.
I have been through this before of course, several times since I began this Journey. I just keep doing what I am doing; maybe tighten up on the calories and the weight starts to move again. Still…. It is frustrating…
I am still committed to getting to the 245+ pound range before the wedding we are attending May 5. Somewhere between 245 and 249 will be fine but I was really expecting, given the level of activity, that I would have a shot at the low 240 range…
Today the weather gave us temperatures in the high 80′s and that is very unusual for this area this time of year. It is fairly low humidity so that made it tolerable. I hoped to have time to do some walking in the plant today but it was not to be. The Younger and I took a nice walk through town instead of dealing with the monotony of the track. Nearly three miles and the hills of town served as the bleachers for me tonight. A really pleasant walk.
I expect that my weight will start to move again soon and when it does it will be a rush of loss… At the end of the last period of stagnation, I lost 10 pounds in 6 days.
Strange I know.
Why Don’t I call it a Plateau like Everyone Else?
I do not use the term plateau. In my mind, it does not describe what is really happening. For me it is stagnation, a lack of movement. I like the negative sound of the word stagnation. To me, it denotes something that one can change by action that is more aggressive.
To my ear, plateau sounds like something inevitable, outside of my control. I will not accept that the weight loss stopping is inevitable or out of my control. If the weight loss stopping is inevitable and outside of my control, then (my mind says to me) weight gain is inevitable and outside of my control. That I simply will not accept.
Dreaming about Dreams
I sit sometimes out on the back deck of my home and I think about the things that I want to happen on this Journey. I guess you can call it Daydreaming. I dream of how I will look at 210 pounds. Will I look like a scarecrow? I think about how it will feel to ride a 100-mile bike ride at the age of 51. How will it feel to run a 5-K, maybe even a 10-K for the first time in my life? I even have little dreams about going in to the store and buying clothes and enjoying the experience because there are so many items in my size to choose from… I love the idea of a 36 or 34-inch waist. I love the idea of Large-Tall sized shirts. I love the idea of not being embarrassed to wear a swimsuit with no T-shirt… I love to imagine the feelings of being lean again…
I went to a bike shop on Saturday the Younger one. I needed a new helmet, as the old one was not very comfortable… An interesting thing happened. The young salesperson was glad to talk performance-oriented bikes with me and show me the good stuff… In the past, I was sort of short-changed. A big fat guy looking at racing bikes… Now it doesn’t seem so absurd… Now I can add those bikes to my list of dreams…
Dreaming about dreams… These I can make happen.
When the weight stagnates, it pushes those dreams back. I am not ready to accept that at all.
I am cutting the calories back to 1500 starting today, pushing the walks to 6 miles starting tonight. This is in my control.
This is how I push past the stagnation, how I break the dam and getting the weight flowing off again. I push the body and I revise the plan. I make the body respond to the challenge. I will eat a little less, I will work a great deal more.
I could be patient, keep the plan unaltered and allow the stagnation to break on its own in its own good time. I am not going to do that. I am not interested in patience. I am interested in pushing myself to places I have never been. I am not willing to be passive on any part of this Journey.
Life is a spectator sport. It is a full contact, full-participation activity. I am not going to watch. I am going to participate with all that I have.